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Domestic Violence FAQs

  1. What can I do about annoying or threatening phone calls?
    If you become a victim of annoying phone calls, you should report them to the Los Angeles Police Department. Your phone company may be able to assist in tracking the origin of the calls if they have a police report number.

    If you become a victim of threatening phone calls, report them to your local police department immediately. Los Angeles Police Department takes threatening calls seriously, and so should you, especially if you are in a battering relationship or have been a victim of domestic violence.

  2. My partner was arrested for domestic violence and told me to bail him out or else I would "get it." What should I do?
    This is a threat. Report this to the police, City Attorney’s or District Attorney’s Office as soon as possible. A protective order for you can be requested in court and bail can be raised because of the threat. Depending on the specific nature of the threat, additional charges may be filed against the defendant.
  3. Do we both need to attend court-ordered counseling and marriage counseling?
    Violence is not a problem for both persons in a relationship, it is the problem of the batterer alone. When he has completed counseling for his use of violence on you then it may be safe to try marriage counseling. You will not be required to attend court-ordered counseling with him. If you are required to go with him, call a Victim Advocate. Only counselors trained specifically in domestic violence can help, for this reason, even religious counseling may not be enough.
  4. My partner told me to call the prosecutor and drop the case. What should I do?
    You cannot drop the charges in a criminal case. Unlike a civil case, you are not the party to the lawsuit, but you are an important witness to a crime. If he tells you to drop charges, he must understand that you do not have that authority.
  5. If I go to court and testify, can he find out where I’m staying?
    No. Specific state laws let the prosecutor conceal your location from the defendant.
  6. He tries to be a good father to the children. Should I put up with domestic abuse to maintain our home for the children’s sake?
    No. Children growing up in a home with violence are "walking on egg-shells" too. The violence to you directly affects and harms your children.
  7. Am I safe now that he’s attending a batterer’s counseling program?
    Possibly not. Even though he’s attending a counseling program, even one ordered by the court, you may not be safe. You should be contacted by the program for reports on his behavior and to answer any questions you may have about what he may be telling you about the program. If the program has not contacted you, call a Victim Advocate. Even if he attends the program regularly, you may not be safe. No program can guarantee that you will be safe.

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